Invisible

There SHE is. I enter the room and my eyes just lock with hers, just for a second. Today she has her nose in a new, old book. She reads fast. I can see her eyes moving, but most of the time they don’t look at my way, they just go zig-zagging through the lonly pages that she reads, a Starbucks coffe in her right hand, warming. I thought that maybe I should talk to her, say a “hello” or something about what she’s reading, but her eyes never leave the yellow pages of that old book. She has her legs crossed and when she shifts to change her position for a second, just for a second, she looks at my direction, caughts me staring at her and smiles. God, her smile. And those beautiful eyes. I should go there and make my move, okay I will. Better say something instead of being invisible…

  There HE is. He enters the room and the first thing I do is look at his eyes. Our stare locks, just for a second. And for that second I go back to my reading, but I can’t concentrate, so I just keep my eyes on my book and make like I’m reading, moving my eyes too fast. I think of my Starbucks coffe on my right hand, warming. I think that he’s staring, but my eyes never leave my book, it must be my mind playing with my heart, because the girl with the book is never notice and maybe he’s just looking at what I’m reading. The chair feels uncomfortable and I shift my position and in that second I steal a moment to look at him and he’s staring, so I just smile and I feel him smiling. God, his smile. And his eyes. Shit, he’s standing up and going to my direction. Well, better say something instead of being invisible…

Heartache: Prologue

Before I start writing about love, first got to say that I haven’t posted book reviews because I have some problems with my computer. Right now I’m writing from my phone, ’cause I really need to write something, I need to write about love. It’s such a necessity to let people know that they are not the only ones who suffer from long term crushes. Those crushes on a person that you know will never happen, a friend, the one, almost perfect; but it will never happen ’cause you will never express what you feel, not just to your best friend, but to the person you’re crushing on. These crushes that literally personify the term given to them, ’cause looking at them crushes your heart. Now I end this babbling to start a love story that I hope It ends well…in time…

Have you ever fallen in love? Has someone fallen for you? I’ve been in love, but never have been the person to be loved. It is ridiculous and exasperating to know that someone out there, someone you know might have a crush on you, but that person is one of those who will always think that to confess his or her love for you will ruin your friendship. And they’re right…

Something you should know is that I love love. Is that possible? I have never fallen for someone that feels the same for me and I am in love with the tought of love. I’ve been crushing on this guy since 10th grade. Now, I’m a senior, soon to be 18 and still haven’t been able to make a move and tell my crush how I feel when he hugs me. It’s hard for a shy girl and more when one of her best friends is always pushing her to do things she would never do. Leah is always lecturing me about love, my love life. She tinks I’ll die a virgin, what she doesn’t understands is that love doesn’t ends in high school, that we have other opportunities in life, but she wants me to at least get the feeling of been in love and be heartbroken before we graduate. She wants me to know all the consequences that come with love. She’s right, I do want to fall in love and and get my heart broken before we separate and at least have some experience for when I go to college. It won’t be hard to tell my crush my feelings. I mean, he’s a gentleman! Also good looking, has this beautiful smile and God, his lovely chocolate eyes! He has this bottomless stare, when you look at his eyes it’s like looking directly at the Milkyway. Ok, got a bit carried away, sorry. But the thing is that he is not just appearance, he is also wonderful by heart. But oh boy, was I wrong. This will not be easy, because… He is my other best friend.

Yeah I know, how cliché. The girl who falls for her best friend. But when I am with him I feel different, I feel warm, I feel the sun in my face, I feel air in my stomach. I’ve never felt something like this. But sometimes, it just hurts, beacause I know I will never have the guts to tell him how I really feel, I will never be able to push myself to do that. I am a coward. I will grow old, have someone in my life and never be over him. And I will see him with other girls, get invited to his weding, maybe he’ll have two wedings, because the first one will be a snot and he’ll find at the altar. I’ll never be able to object. It will hurt in the future and it hurts now. It hurts, it hurts deeply, it hurts in my heart’s heart and I want it to stop.